There’s a Place in France

There’s a place in France,
Where the women wear no pants,
And the men don’t care,
They can see their curly hair.

This is a rhyme that was popular with U.S. soldiers during World War Two. After the invasion of Normandy, it was a long march north through France towards Germany. But this trek was brightened by how appreciative the French people – especially the women – were of the Americans who had liberated them.

Recently, Kesha has recorded a song called Take It Off with these lyrics:

There’s a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around,
It’s a hole in the wall,
It’s a dirty free for all.

There’s a place I know,
If you’re looking for a show,
Where they go hardcore,
And there’s glitter on the floor.

I think it is GREAT that a 25-year-old electropop singer from Los Angeles is using a rhyme popularized by dog-faced soldiers in a war 70 years past, which she could only know about from her high school history books. So, in tribute to my new all-time favorite female singer, I composed a few verses using the same rhyme:

There’s a place in ‘Stan,
Where we hunt the Taliban,
Spot ‘em in our scopes,
And they run like antelopes.

There’s a place called Homs,
Where Bashar drops a lot of bombs,
But the rebels burn his tanks,
And his troops all fall outta ranks.

There’s a place in ‘Nam,
Where they still fear Captain Land,
Taught Carlos how to shoot,
And gave the Vietcong the boot.

There’s a place in Iraq,
That the Marine Corp did attack,
Fallujah was its name,
And it’ll never be the same.

There’s a place near here,
Where they serve a lot of beer,
And they sell rum and Coke,
In liter bottles – not a joke.

There’s a place in town,
Where your sorrows you can drown,
If you’re looking for some brew,
They’ve got more than just a few.

There’s a place not far,
We can get there in my car,
The girls are really lookers,
And a few are actually hookers.

There’s a place downtown,
Which is really underground,
But find your way in,
And you’ll get to see some skin.

There’s a party at my place,
We’ll get some condoms just in case,
To each of us a pack,
Hell, I bought the store’s whole rack.

There’s a topless bar on Thomas,
Which is really actually bottomless,
Katrina’s such a mooch,
But she’ll let you touch her cooch.